Going for Gold

Satiricus is in the dumps. This is the way it’s always been – every four years. But this year it was worse.
He’s talking about the Olympics, of course. Oh… how his heart swelled when he saw the Golden Arrow flutter in the march-past in their six person contingent.
Was this the year Guyana was going to get a medal? Satiricus wasn’t too proud – he wasn’t even thinking about gold. He wasn’t actually stupid – the small contingent was a definite tip off – but even a bronze would do. But once again the country came up empty.
“Bai Sato, why yuh does worry bout everything?” Cappo’s tone was consoling. “Abee a wan small country.”
“Man, I know,” Satiricus replied, “but Grenada don’t even got 100,000 people and they get a gold! Something wrong with we.”
“And Bahamas got half a we population, and they get a gold too,” pointed out Suresh. “Nah! Is not size.”
“Well let me tell you fellas why I got my hopes up this year,” said Satiricus. “You remember Michael Johnson, the Olympic star?”
“Man, who could forget Michael Johnson?” shouted Kuldeep enthusiastically. “The fella was the fastest man in the world before Usain Bolt!!”
“The gold in the 200m and the 400m in 1996 at the Atlanta Olympics will never be repeated!!” reminisced teacher Samad. “So what’s with Michael Johnson? I saw him commentating in the Olympics.”
“Well, before this Olympics, he gave a reason why Afro-Caribbean and Afro-Americans have dominated athletic finals – at the Olympics or wherever,” offered Satiricus. He had the attention of the whole gang. They all leaned forward.
“He said that our ancestors in this part of the world, bred individuals who have a ‘superior athletic gene’,” declared Satiricus with a flourish. “He predicted that black American and Caribbean sprinters will command the sport at the London Games.”
“And they certainly did!” pointed out Hari. “As far as I can see, they won every sprint event in sight!” “Did you know that Usain Bolt was born in Trelawny Parish, where British Olympic boss Lord Coe’s plantation owning ancestor George Hyde Park had 297 slaves?” asked Suresh.
Everyone at the table gaped at him. “I saw the same documentary with Michael Johnson as Sato did,” he confessed as he looked down modestly.
“Well that’s exactly what I was talking about,” confessed Satiricus. “I figured we had our share of that part of our history and even by the law of averages, we should have some descendants who had the ‘superior athletic gene’, no?”
“Damn right, we should,” yelled Samad uncharacteristically.
“Man, our national hero is Cuffy and he kicked some real behinds!” “An me a always hear about Damon an so-on…” said Cappo indignantly. “Me wid Sato on dis one!!
Whe is we blasted gold medal?” “Something mussee happen since Cuffy time,” suggested Bungi. “We think a PPP do it!” “What de hell yuh talking about?” asked Kuldeep in a confused voice.
“Well since PPP a get blame fuh everything, abee might as well blame dem fuh de ‘superior athletic genes’ disappearing!”a